Based on a True Story...

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Based On A True Story...

my week

09.30.04 (4:36 pm)

I realize that I haven't posted in a while but I've just been terribly boring lately. Even more boring than usual.

Yesterday I had Snowball groomed and she had doggie perfume on when I brought her home. Really pissed off the mother-in-law. Said she was allergic to it and couldn't breathe. May have to buy a bottle of it. Dogs should smell good all the time right?

BINGO!

09.25.04 (11:31 am)

Driving to the recycling place the other night I saw a sign for Equine Assisted Therapy bingo. This cuaght my attention because I like Equine Assisted Therapy and about every two years I have a craving for bingo. I went back to the building annd found out that it was every Friday and Saturday at noon.

This morning we went to a diner for breakfast. On the bulletin board there was a coupon for $3 off bingo. So I went today. I had to go to WalMart first to buy markers. My pack had a red one and a blue one.

I bought 18 cards for $19. That's $22 minus $3 for my coupon. I got a bingo on the 4th game! Now there aren't many people there. Maybe 20-25 so the odds are pretty good but I've never won at bingo before and this was a $50 pot. Then a little old lady sitting near me yelled Bingo too. I had Bingo Rage. She should have been more careful. I have a family history of bingo-induced violence.

When I was about 17 I had a bingo craving. A fair was having bingo so I took my lttle brother to go play. He would have been 13 and obviously very bored. It was raining really hard so we had umbrellas with us. At the fair bingo there was a table of prizes. My brother had his eye on a set of steak knives. He kept getting within a few numbers and then someone else would win. He's very competitive. He started threatening to beat people with his umbrella every time someone won. Then someone claimed the knives and I about had to restrain him. I think that was probably the last time he played bingo because he was so traumatized.

Anyway back to today. They called the first door prize and I won! I got a one pound box of chocolate. Just last night I decided I need to get serious about my diet again. They also gave me a pen because they knew I was new.

Then at intermission they gave us free lunch.

After lunch I wasn't doing so well. I decided that they blue marker was probably tired and that the red one wanted a chance to win. I won the next game all by myself. That was a single bingo for $35. For the coverall I alternated blue and then red every other number but I didn't win. So, I ended up with a $41 profit, a pen, a box of chocolate, and a free lunch. Not bad for 4 hours.

carnival

09.25.04 (11:16 am)

On a whim my husband and I went to the street carnival last night. This is the same carnival that I talked about in the parade post before. I found out that it was homecoming. My husband is a city kid. He has no carnival/fair frame of reference. We got passes for the rides. The first one just went around in a circle and up and down. I thought he was going to throw up. I was mildly worried because it was a very rusty ride and there was an omnious sounding thunk with every revolution. But we're still alive. Then we stood in line for the next ride. This took a long time to load and unload. The ride operator was very grumpy. He was snarling at people as he was loading them. Most of them were little kids. The last people to get on the ride were the people right in front of us. Then the ride was full and we were going to have to wait for the whole ride and then the unloading and loading process again. The husband looks at me and says calmly, "I don't know if it's worth the wait."
The ride operator flipped out. "Look buddy! Either you ride it or you don't. Doesn't make any difference to me."
Husband: "What?"
Crazed Carny: "You heard what I said!"

Now my husband is not the turn the other cheek type. Despite my best efforts he feels the need to get the last word in during arguments. I see where this is going and walk away. So, the rest of this conversation was related to me by the husband when he caught up.

H: "Look, I wasn't even talking to you."
CC: "I don't need your attitude either you ride or you don't."
H: "You need to learn to be more respectful to people."
CC: "I don't have a problem here buddy. You do."
H: "No. I 've been here watching you load this ride and you've been nasty to everyone. I just want you to know that if I hear any more complaints about you tonight you won't be here tomorrow."

He's good at pretending he has standing and influence in any situation where in fact he has neither. According to the husband the carny guy backed down at that point and muttered something that might have been an apology. Might have also been obscene, I think.
So the husband catches up to me.
H: "Hey, you left me. What the hell ever happened to stand by your man?"
Me: "Not when the man is being an ass."
H: "What if he had pulled a gun and shot me?"
Me: "I'd have come back to get the car keys." What did he think I was going to do? Throw myself in front of the bullet?

So we go ride another ride. This one has cars that are way off the ground. I'm slightly worried about getting into them unassisted. But I do and he does. The ride operator of this ride comes over to lock us in and cheerily says, "Hey, you got in there all by yourself." I start laughing as he walks away. My husband is large and very sensitive about it. The ride operator was bigger so most likely sympathetic. The husband doesn't hear what he said. I have to repeat it twice before he understands. I'm a bit worried because if he starts a fight with this one I'm strapped into the ride with him. But he didn't. Then I had to teach him that the point of most carnival rides is to put your arm around your date and let the ride throw her into you. He hates all public displays of affection. He usually stands 2-3 feet away from me in public at all time. If you saw us in public you might think we barely knew each other if you realized that we were together at all. He did put his arm on the back of the ride. I could tell it was hard for him.

Afterwards I tried to tell him that you have to hold your date's hand at the carnival. He tried to compromise by grabbing my butt. I said no, it had to be hand. He said he was willing to go for one hand on butt and one on chest and I could grab his butt. Then people would know we were together. I grabbed his hand. He squirmed so much he hurt his finger because I have a good grip. I don't see what's so difficult. We've been married for almost 6 years. Don't know why he thinks holding hands is so creepy. (his word for it)

I didn't get to ride the one ride I wanted to because he's a ride wimp. It was a ferris wheel where the carriages go upside down. I couldn't go by myself because they didn't also single riders. Discrimination I say.

trotting

09.25.04 (10:48 am)

I trotted yesterday. As my mother says with slight disgust, "You've been riding your entire life. If I didn't know better I'd think you'd never been on a horse before." I'm not sure why Prize had me so intimidated this spring. But she did. Not only did I trot yesterday but she got distracted at the trot by a donkey in another field. I got after her for not paying attention and she straightened up. I felt my whole body relax. Early this year if I tried to correct her there was a pretty good chance that I was getting thrown. That gave me the shot of confidence I needed to work with her. Now I can't wait to work with her more.

invisibility

09.24.04 (8:54 am)

I seem to have gained the power of invisibility. All week at work I kept disappearing. This led to several instances of me miraculously reappearing near co-workers who were convinced I had left the building while in fact I was never more than a few feet away from them. But my powers reached their high point last night.

I was very tired last night and went to bed early. Actually I feel asleep while reading a book. My husband was due back from a business trip. Next thing I know I'm being shaken awake by a slightly irritated husband.

"Where have you been?"
Muttering drowsily "Sleeping."
"I looked all over for you."
This gets me partially awake. Since my mother-in-law moved in I have hid in the bedroom at night. Why is he looking for me anywhere else? "I was sleeping."
"You weren't here when I looked."
Ah, I see. My powers of invisibility are kicking in again.
"I went to the barn and when you weren't there I looked all over the pasture. Thought you could have been killed by a horse."
That's sort of sweet but I've noticed that whenever the husband or mother-in-law can't find me they think I've been killed by a horse. Wishful thinking maybe? At least the husband takes the presence of my car in the garage into consideration. The mother-in-law seems to think that Spirit is likely to kill me and then steal my car.
"Maybe next time you should turn on the light and if I yell alot then you'll know I'm here. Or, you could get a large stick and poke the bed with it. Even if I'm invisible I may still have a corporeal form and you'll be able to feel where I am."
Strangely enough that seemed to satisfy him.

forced parade watching

09.23.04 (12:09 pm)

In order to get home from work yesterday I have to go through a small town. There is basically no way around this town. At least no easy way. I once had to detour around just south of town because of a large fire and had to drive east for 10 miles to find a road that headed north again.

For some reason there is a carnival set up in the middle of the main street in this town for the last few days. It just appeared one day. That happens every so often. They block the only north - south road in this part of the county to put up a carnival. But they always have a little detour on the back streets of the town. No big deal.

Last night I'm coming home at 6:30. Follow several other cars to the detour when we find police standing at all the crossroads not letting us pass. Not offering any other advice - just not letting us pass. No signs anywhere for any other detours. Finally weave around to a point where we are totally stuck. There is a parade starting.

Let's repeat the point. The only north-south road between two small cities is blocked for a carnival and now all the side roads are blocked for a parade. One would think that people would realize that this could be a problem and perhaps there should be a traffic plan devised. No. Make them watch the parade.

We are not talking Macy's here. This was the worst parade that I've ever seen. It was one of those parades that have three times as many people in them as watching them. It was meandering through the town apparently so every resident could watch it from their front yard instead of being forced to walk two blocks. 99% of the entries were cars or trucks with a sign on the side. I was the second car back in line. This was probably a good thing. Had I been first I may have tried to make a break for it. There were several times when cars could have been allowed to pass but a cop in the intersection wouldn't allow it. The other side of the intersection was like the promised land. If I could only get there I'd be home free.

A lady with some guy running for office was handing out notepads. She braved the line of traffic to pass out notepaper. I don't live in that county of else I would have made a list of people not to vote for because they were in a really bad parade. Instead I started composing a letter to the mayor of the town suggesting better traffic policy.

Here's what I saw in the parade:

- Every politician running for any office
- One group had a banner. I got sort of excited because at least they had made an effort to make a real fabric banner. It said "Utica Historical Society Honors Our Hero's" At that point I started banging my head against the head rest. For God's sake at least learn to spell before you commit it to felt! Then the wagon behind the banner had folding chairs with a few guys in uniform and strangely enough at the back there was a preacher with a pulpit. The army guys weren't facing the preacher. I have pondered the meaning of this float for quite a while and still don't get it.
- One politican had a 7 foot tall model of the Statue of Liberty in the back of the pickup with him. It looked like it was made from a cross of styrofoam and whipped cream. It was starting to sag.
- A black lab was in the parade several times. He would find a group he liked and walk with them for a while before doubling back and joining another group.
- Several area business had pickup trucks in the parade. I started yelling obscenities in my car at one group. It seems that the construction company that can't show up for scheduled appointments to give estimates for my barn has the time to ride in a parade. They're lucky I didn't get out of the car and go jump on the back of their truck to yell at them.
- A local church had a float with a very large paper-mache Holstein. The banner under the cow said "Grazing on the Good Stuff." That was the whole float. I have no earthly idea what that means.
- And on and on and on and on......

I watched the entire parade and still have no idea what they were parading for. It took 30 minutes and then they let us go. I didn't go through there today so I don't know if there is still a carnival. Seems weird to have a carnival in the middle of the week in September.

What I learned from fashion magazines....

09.21.04 (4:32 pm)

I happened to be at the same place as a Harper's Bazaar magazine today. What universe are those people living in? Here's what I learned...

1. Fur is in.

In my world there is no reason to wear fur south of the arctic circle unless you were born with it on your body. In the first fur article the author says "All I want for fall is a fur." In my world you don't get things "for fall." I even tried out saying the first part of that sentence to see how it sounded coming out of my mouth. "All I want for fall...." Sounded stupid anyway I tried it. The fur the author was trying on was $14,000. Getting it would mean that she would have to skip her 2 week vacation with her husband. Ok, if I had $14,000 that I could afford to blow on something it would not be a fur for fall. Also, where do two people go to spend $14,000 on vacation in 2 weeks? That's $1,000 a day. Couldn't do it. In the second article on fur I learned that most people wouldn't wear their furs more than once or twice a winter. Gee, let's kill lots of animals so we can wear their skins once or twice.

2. Veal is good for you.

I'm a vegetarian. I think baby cows should be allowed to walk around. So, in my world veal is bad. But in another column I found out that if you are planning to wear high heels you should walk barefoot on raw veal steaks for 10 minutes before you put the shoes on. Somehow it toughens up your feet. Yeah. Let's skip the whole veal is bad part of the argument. There are people starving in the world. But some Americans are so wasteful that they will waste veal steaks to toughen up their feet? No wonder the rest of the world hates us. I hate us too now.

3. You can be fashionable at any age.....in theory

There was an article that showed how to adapt runway looks fo real people. There was a photo of an outfit on the runway labeled "their look" next to a model wearing similar clothes labeled "your look". Each set of pictures was labeled 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's. I wasn't sure if that meant that those were looks inspired by those decades or looks that would be good for people of that age. So I read the article and found out that it was looks that would be good for people of those ages. Why was I confused? Because the model in the "your look" pictures was the same teenage girl every time. Even when the captions said this is a great look for women in their 70's it was a teenage girl modeling it. What message is that sending? Was every other model in the universe busy that day? Or are there no models over 20 in their world.

4. Why people in the middle of the country wear clothes

Moving on to ELLE (there was a variety of fashion magazines). There was an article about several fashion writers travelling through different parts of the country checking out local fashion. This would have been hilarious to see. The big finding of these people was......wait for it...... in the rest of the country (not L.A. or N.Y.) the main criteria people use for choosing clothes is..... the climate. Let me quote, "In Montana people wear Ugg boots not because it's trendy but because it's cold. Who knew?" Uh, everyone? The intrepid reporters also decided that there is nothing that you could be required to do in Montana that would require stillettos. I wasn't aware that any activity actually REQUIRED stillettos. Shows how much I know about fashion.

recycling success

09.21.04 (4:05 pm)

I checked out the recycling center on the way home from the library. There are indeed bins to drop off your recycling now. They must be new. There is no way I could have missed those before. I'm feeling very proud of myself now because I recycled a bag of papers.

library book club

09.21.04 (4:03 pm)

I went to my library's book discussion for the first time tonight. The book we discussed was THE PRIZE WINNER OF DEFIANCE, OHIO. It is the true story of a woman in an abusive relationship who has 10 children. She adds to the family income by entering contests such as writing jingles or describing a product in 25 words of less. The book was written by one of her children. The book is written with humor even though the situations described are very serious.

I liked the discussion. I'm quiet in groups so I just listened. There were about 15 people there. I checked out NICKLED AND DIMED which is the book they are going to be discussing next month.

cosmetic patriotism

09.20.04 (2:42 pm)

I have a pet peeve about people talking about helping others but not actually doing anything constructive. The most recent outbreak of this is the yellow ribbon car magnets that say "Support Our Troops." They are suddenly the cool thing to have around here.

Last week at work a client (who has two) and the receptionists (one each) were talking about them. The client turned to me and asking if I had one. I said no. Then one receptionist then said half-jokingly "She doesn't support things like that."

A few days later my husband was pointing out flags in people's yard. He said that we should get a flag pole. He says this mostly because he thinks that its amusing that I get very irritated about that subject. Besides the fact that my one horse is deathly afraid of flags blowing in the wind, I think that flags flying in yards are for the most part just tacky. Before anyone hits comments to flame me about that let me say that I feel the exact same way about Christmas and for the same reasons. Flame away.

What practical good does flying a flag do? Face it. Most people don't observe the proper procedures for flying flags. Most are tattered and left up in all conditions. If you value the flag so much do it right. But the flag is just a symbol. Flying it does nothing constructive but make you look patriotic to others.

Bill Maher summed up what I feel about cosmetic patriotism. In WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE YOU RIDE WITH BIN LADEN he talks about how much better it would be for the country if people had to earn the right to fly flags by doing something constructive. Donate blood, enlist, trade in the SUV for a hybrid to reduce dependence on foreign oil. Then you would know that any flag you saw flying was truly a symbol of a person who actively cared - not just another decoration like the lawn gnome.

That's also why I don't like Christmas. People wish for peace on earth and give to charities because it is December. That's great. But watch the donations and good feelings evaporate come January 1. Then it's back to our lives as usual. Charity is something you don't have to think about again until December. It's the hypocracy I can't stand.

So, back to "She doesn't support things like that." One of the Christian precepts that I still live my life by is the admonition to keep evidence of your piety (in this case good works) private. People who pray (give) while making sure that everyone can see them get their reward in the public praise. I give money and make things to donate to different charities throughout the year. Usually it is quilts for orphanages. When I make them I admit I want the organization to look at them and think "These are great!" I'm not proud of the pride involved in that but it makes sure that I do my best work and don't get sloppy just because it's not going to someone I know. But when I send them I send them anonymously. Likewise, most of my monetary donations are given on the condition that the recipients don't know my name.

I've thought about asking the receptionists at work tomorrow if they would like to donate stocking stuffers to the stockings for soliders donation that I am working with. But even the thought of saying "Hey, I'm doing this" makes me very uncomfortable. I'm trying to balance the thought of getting others involved to make them not just cosmetic patriots with my desire for privacy. I think I've decided to ask but we'll see if I can make myself say it.

recycling

09.20.04 (2:05 pm)

Why should it be so difficult to recycle? I want to recycle. But it is very difficult to get a straight answer around here about where you can recycle or what you can recycle. When I first moved to this state I lived in a big city. When I signed up for garbage collection I asked about recycling programs. I'm a country kid. I've never lived anywhere where there was such as thing as curb side recycling. Apparently I've still never lived anywhere where that was an option. The operator told me that the garbage company goes through each bag of garbage and sorts everything. I was so incredulous that I called back later and asked again. Got the same answer. I still don't believe it. Even if they did, that would ruin a lot of paper that could be recycled because of other garbage getting on it.

So now I'm back in a rural area. I asked again about recycling. Got the same answer because it was the same company. But lately recycling trailers have been popping up in the most unlikely places. The thing is when you go back they are gone. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. You need to be driving around with your garbage in the car in case you happen upon a recycling trailer.

But today I found a website that explained the system. The trailer that appears closest to me lives there on the first Monday through Wednesday of the month. Then it moves to other locations. It's a good idea to sort of bring recycling to people. These trailers are on main roads out in the middle of nowhere. But honestly, who is going to remember the three days of the month that you can drive to the middle of nowhere to recycle?

On the website I also found a permanent recycling area. For a while I couldn't place where it was but now I remember. I've stopped there before but it always seems to be closed. I thought they didn't do anything there anymore. The website says there are bins outside for 24 hour drop off. I remember looking for those. I must not be very observant.

But the website says that they recycle about everything there. Paper, plastic, and tin cans would be the main things I recycle. Now I just have to get the other people who live here to cooperate. Let's just say that I am sure that I will be the only one excited by the thought of recycling.

Mango Soup

09.19.04 (6:38 am)

I am a mango snob. My first taste of the fruit was in Costa Rica. The family I stayed with had a few mango trees in the backyard. They kept feeding me mangos. But something was wrong with them. First of all they were green. Isn't mango ice cream orange? They were also very woody and flavorless. Frankly I couldn't see what all the fuss was about. Then a few days before I left they ripened. We'd be sitting in the living room and a mango would drop right outside the window. We'd rush out and collect it. These mangos were juicy and flavorful and yes, orange. From that moment on I've loved the taste of fresh mangoes.

Problem - I live in the midwest U.S. There are no fresh mangoes. The ones at the store are the woody green types. Even when they ripen they can never come close to the taste of fresh tree-ripened fruit. But I had a mango cream soup on the cruise ship that just blew me away. So I went looking for a recipe and I think I've found it. It's not quite as good as the ship soup but I like it anyway.

Chilled Mango Cream Soup

2 mangoes - I used canned fresh mango
1/4 cup sugar
Zest and juice of one lemon
1.5 cups half and half

Blend it all together and chill.

That's it. It makes sort of a thin mango milkshake. There are other recipes out there that use egg whites and other ingredients but this was fast and simple.

stocking for soldiers photo

09.18.04 (8:41 am)

Here's a picture of one of the stockings I made for the stockings for soldiers project I described in a previous post.
[image]spirit97_762758011 .jpg[/image]

The main fabric is cotton and it is lined with a gold polyester lining fabric. There is a layer of batting between the fabric and the lining. I splurged on the cuff fabric. It's a gold brocade with embroidered flowers.

droving in the morning

09.18.04 (4:28 am)

I went out to let Spirit in this morning and he had company. There was a Holstein in his pasture. He was not happy. He likes cows. He's spent hours watching cows over the fence. He used to have to stop on trail rides if we passed cow pastures in order to watch the cows for a bit. But, apparently that is totally different from having a cow in his pasture. I guess it's like enjoying watching the lions at the zoo but not wanting to find one in your bedroom.

So I got him inside and fed. (This involved a lot of dirty looks shot at the cow as he reluctantly walked past her to the gate.) Then I tried to figure out how she got in. The gate was closed and I can't find any fence down so we seem to have another magic animal. Prize used to make almost daily trips to the cow pasture before we figured out how she was doing it and how to stop it. She went under our fence and jumped theirs. I then tried to drive the cow out of the pasture and back home. Yeah, right. If you've never tried to drive a cow here's how it works. You need to stay behind the middle of their back. That's called the driveline. Stay behind it and you move it forward. Step in front of it to turn them. I got her almost to the gate and then she faked left. I blocked her there and she quickly spun right and I lost her. She went galloping off to the far end of the pasture in triumph. I hate being outsmarted by a cow. I'll have to let her owners know she's here so they can come get her. I wish Prize was home. I've always wanted to go chase cows with her. She likes to chase them away from the common fence line but maybe she'll be like Spirit and not want a head-to-head confrontation. Her trainer has a longhorn that he wants to teach her to herd. Personally I prefer that she stay away from anything with huge horns like that. But maybe it would be a practical skill to have.

not druidry

09.17.04 (10:15 am)

I don't think I'm cut out to be a druid. It's too bad because I really wanted to be something. I guess I'm just going to make up my own form of paganism that works for me.

Here's why it didn't work.

1. Druidry is polytheistic. If I have trouble believing in one God how am I supposed to be believe in multiples? I thought it would be ok because I can understand seeing the old gods as archetypes - this one is representative of power and this one is representative of creativity, etc. But, when I got the information on what druids truly believe that is not allowed. Over and over in the book it says that druids believe in the literal existance of any gods - NOT ARCHETYPES. Too bad. I like the idea of archetypes.

2. I couldn't get over the suspension of disbelief in the rituals. This is probably related to #1 but I also see the trance work as a way of fooling yourself. I love a good mediation session and guided relaxation as much as anyone but when they tell you to imagine that you are seeing supernatural beings around you, well, you are IMAGINING supernatural beings. That doesn't make them real. Goes back to archtypes - yes, real - no.

What I liked about druidry.

1. The scholarship. In each training program I looked at there was a strong emphasis on reading and research. They wanted you to study environmental subjects in addition to the culture of your hearth pantheon and general pagan readings. There was also a study program to learn about the traditions. For someone like me that is totally new to paganism that was a draw.

2. I liked the reverence for nature. There was an emphasis on practical environmental activism.

So, here's where I am.

1. Since I've decided to investigate paganism I've found myself more in tune with the seasons. I like the idea of celebrating the seasons and the feasts based on the agricultural year. When people ask me the phase of the moon I actually know now. I"m not dreading the fall this year like I usually do. I'm looking forward to celebrating the equinox next week. I've always thought of myself as very aware of the natural world around me but I've become more curious about my surroundings.

2. The rituals or meditations that I connected the most with so far have been Earth or nature honoring. Anything focused more on distinct gods does't do much for me.

So back to the drawing board to figure out if I fit in with any one organized religion. But I'm still going to keep burning incense.

stockings for soliders

09.17.04 (9:02 am)

I'm working on a project that I found described on the Delphi quilting forums. There is an effort underway to make Christmas stockings for each of the 450 soldiers in the 515th out of Fort Hood that are stationed in Iraq. You can get the pattern for the stockings fron the organizer and then fill them with stuff like candy and toiletries. I made the first one in just a few minutes. I just went shopping for stuff to fill the stocking. If anyone else is interested email me and I'll send you the directions. They need to be sent out by 10/15 in order to get to Iraq in time. If quilting isn't your thing I'm sure they'd take knitted or crocheted stockings, too.

the perfect murder

09.16.04 (4:24 am)

I almost killed the mother-in-law last night. It was purely by accident, I promise. She's asthmatic. I will grant that it is a bad disease to have to live with. But, when she moved in here one of her first acts was to gather up all my candles and dump then in my bedroom and tell me that I was not allowed to have them. She has also whined about the car that my husband bought for her because it doesn't have air conditioning so she needs to roll down the window. She says that air is bad for her asthma. Let's see. We bought you a car - you have the nerve to complain about it - we should make you give it back and walk - let's see how good that is for your asthma - but I digress. Let's just say that she's overly dramatic about it.

Anyway, last night I was meditating. I had some incense so I decided to try it out. That was fine. But afterwards I came out of my room and left the door open. She started gagging and coughing. The sadistic side of me totally ignored it. Probably totally cancelled out the good karma from my meditation. I started to think how that would be the perfect murder. The smell would be long gone before the police got here. Even if it wasn't they would never connect it to death. She better start being a nicer person because I get tempted by stuff like this more and more often the longer she's freeloading off of us.

the aliens stole my husband

09.15.04 (2:10 am)

I think the aliens took my husband and left me with a replacement. This replacement seems to have no idea about things that are routine in our lives. Last night when he came home from work I was in bed. He was amazed that my hair was damp and brushed. I've been taking showers at night long before I met my real husband so he would not be surprised by this. This morning the replacement was surprised at what time the alarm went off. I've been setting the alarm for an hour before I get up so I feel like I'm getting away with something by hitting snooze. I've been doing this since high school. But it's all new information to the replacement. My real husband would know that this happened yesterday - and every other day that I've worked in the 7 years he's known me. You'd think that if aliens had the technology to make a realistic physical model of my husband they would at least have the skills to give it basic programming. I don't want to start over with training a husband.

Over and out

09.14.04 (1:00 pm)

I forgot to post the happy news in my life from yesterday. I posted below that I really needed to get out of a leadership position I was in. I was vice-president of an organization. Yesterday I called the president and almost begged him not to accept the nomination for a third term. Since the beginning of our terms we had a plan to stick together in this. I would feel really bad about abandoning him but I had had enough. He wanted to stay for the last allowed term. We've been making some changes in the organization that hit a lot of "That's not how we've always done it" this year. He thought that if we backed out now it would all be for nothing. He almost begged right back for me to stay.
Last night at the meeting people were whining and complaining about everything. They were really going after a program that he feels very strongly about. They were basically saying that they would let it happen this year but they are then going to kill it. He was getting cranky. And then it happened. He opened nominations for officers. They asked if he was willing to run again and he said no. Just like he had planned this all along. I wanted to jump up and start singing the Hallelujah Chorus. I think I controlled myself. I turned down nominations for all offices. We were both giddy when we closed nominations and we really realized that we didn't have to deal with all the whining and complaining any more. I going to just work with the educational issues that I care about and let everyone else deal with all the rest. I've been running a lot of events for them. This year when I wasn't able to be at all the events no one picked up the duties. They complained last night that no one told them that they would have to actually do the work themselves. I hate to have this attitude because I really do care about the program but there comes a time when you have to stop beating your head against the wall trying to help people who won't help themselves.

free time

09.14.04 (12:34 pm)

I just found out that the trail ride that I was supposed to judge this weekend was cancelled. I was supposed to judge it last year and it was cancelled because of the hurricane that hit NY. This year the forecast is for rain from Ivan. With that and a low number of pre-entries, it was cancelled again. I took the day off of work on Thursday to travel and was supposed to be gone until Monday and my trainer is out of town all week. I'm not sure that I know what to do with myself anymore on days off if I don't have a riding lesson. I used to go to a lot of movies that I knew my husband wouldn't want to see. I think I'll catch up on my movie watching. I'm going to have to think on this. I'm disappointed about the ride but love getting unexpected free time.

my weekend

09.13.04 (4:20 am)

Friday I went and rode my horse. Yes, I was a total wimp girl. I only walked. But I figured that the last time I rode that horse I ended up with large doctor bills so I wasn't taking any chances. She was incredible! My first imression was that riding her was like pushing air. If you touch your leg to her to ask her to move she just floats over. Absolutely amazing and totally worth the money for training. I go back today for another lesson. I think I'll be brave enough to trot today.

From there I went to PA for the 4-H district horse show. I was a steward for a while. No fights on my watch. The whole show was pretty peaceful. I think the quality of showing was down. Or maybe I'm just used to watching the level of riding here. It's a whole different world in 4-H here.

My very exciting plan for today.
1. Grocery store
2. Library
3. Riding lesson
4. 4-H advisors meeting (yuk. I have a very bad attitude lately. I need to get out of my leadership role and just go back to working with the kids.)

birdhouse quilt

09.08.04 (3:22 pm)

I finally finished it. Here's a picture of Snowball checking it out. The colors are way off. The background is light blue and the one border is burgandy/red.

[image]spirit97_126816495 3.jpg[/image]

dog dreams

09.07.04 (12:28 pm)

It's bad enough getting woken up for my husband's dreams but now my dog is getting in on the act. At 4:30 this morning she started screaming and howling. She's little but she's got a mighty set of lungs. I sat up in bed and looked at her. She was standing in the middle of the room just carrying on. Then just as suddenly as she started she shut up, walked over to where she normally sleeps, layed down, and started to snore. I'm not entirely sure that she was totally wake through any of it. Very strange.

I have to go sew now. This quilt will be done before I go to bed tonight. I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I have to get to work.

set your calendars

09.06.04 (3:32 am)

It's Labor Day Weekend. Even if I didn't have a calendar I would know this. Why? Because this is the weekend when I get to start watching my horse sweat like a pig. Every year since I've known him (that's 20 years) he gets his winter coat in time for Labor Day. It seems to come in overnight. Well, guess what? It's still hot in September. So he sweats. During really hot spells he'll be drenched.

Now it's just an inconvienence. But when I was showing him it was awful. We always showed on Labor Day and had our biggest show of the year the next weekend. He was always fuzzy. No other horses were fuzzy. They all had enough sense to know that it was too hot to grow coats the first week in September.

I know that horses grow coats based on the length of day and not on temperature but you'd think that over time he'd adapt. We live in a warmer place now that we did 10 years ago but it doesn't make one bit of difference to him. You can set your calendar by his hair growth.

other people's dreams

09.06.04 (2:55 am)

It's very strange to get involved in other people's dreams. This morning my husband woke me up by shaking my shoulder. He was laughing.

DH: I know exactly what you mean. The same thing has happened to me.
Me: (groggy and irritated) What are you talking about?
DH: I've had to stay awake to avoid losing clients too.
Me: Go back to sleep.
DH: (while rolling over and still laughing) Ok, I wanted to let you know that I know where you're coming from because I've been there too.

That didn't seem like a terribly interesting dream to me but apparently he found it hilarious.

car and books

09.04.04 (11:33 am)

I got my car back today. Turns out that for some reason something stuck on the front right brake and made it all catch on fire. Hence, the smoke. But it's all better now. Plus I got the blower for my air conditioning fixed as long as I was there.

I did go to the bookstore last night. It was all for nothing though. They didn't have any of the books that I had seen on the recommended reading lists. If I had wanted to learn how to cast love spells or curse my enemies they had books for that but if you want to read about the philosophical relationship between mankind and his environment you are out of luck. In fact when you go the desk hoping that you just haven't looked in the right section, the clerk looks at you like you are some kind of freak for wanting such strange books. I would like bookstores more if they were set up like libraries. Why are the computers in bookstores behind the desk? I'm perfectly capable of looking up my book request by myself. I don't need a teenager to do it for me.

I went to the library this morning and was pleasantly surprised by all I found. Apparently I just didn't search the right words in the card catalog online.

My husband has decided that it's ok if I'm a evil satanist druid as long as I'm on his side and do not cast harmful spells on him. I've decided for the time being not to enlighten him on what druids actually do and/or believe. Maybe if he thinks that I'm capable of turning him into a newt he'll be on his best behavior.

no books for me

09.04.04 (12:28 am)

I had great plans for today. I was going to a bookstore to do more research on druidry. My small town library doesn't have any of the books on recommended reading lists that I've seen. What a shock. Then I was going to go have a riding lesson.

I made it as far as a town 10 miles from here. My car started to shake and smoke. I know nothing about cars but even I know that those are bad signs. I was so focused on getting my books though that I had to make myself listen to that little voice that was saying, "Turn around and go home." I made it home ok. Actually the car was running better. I decided to drive to a garage to see about getting it fixed. I was driving down my driveway and realized I had very loose brakes. So, I called my husband.

Me: "Now it doesn't seem to have any brakes."
DH: "Those weren't supposed to go out until you were on a hill."
Me: "You're very funny."
DH: "It's probably all front end and brake related."
Me: "You mean the same brakes that I was worried about a few months ago but you drove the car and said there was nothing wrong with the brakes?"
DH: "Yeah, those ones."

So I had to renew my AAA membership, call the garage, call the tow truck, and cancel my lesson. I didn't get my books. I was really looking forward to those. Maybe I can get the husband to come home early and go to a movie. I could call it a fancy date and get him to take me to the big theater instead of the local one. Then I could go to the bookstore at that mall. I don't know how he'd react to me buying pagan books. He is by no means a practicing Christian. He knows just enough theology to be dangerous and dogmatic in his assumptions. I know that will include pagan = satanism = bad. I did tell him that I'm studying druidism. But I read a lot of stuff so he doesn't necessary pay close attention.

random musings

09.02.04 (2:39 pm)

- Posting the poem below is sort of a violation of my anti-blog-poetry stance but I didn't write it myself so it may not count.

- In January this year a person asked me to make her a birdhouse quilt. I figured I'd make it for her birthday because September's a long ways away, right? I made the blocks but just totally redesigned the layout. I need to get it done by next week. Guess what I'll be doing all weekend?

- Yesterday I had to euthanize my favorite client's favorite dog. He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer over a year ago. Everyone was absolutely amazed at how well he was doing. Then the lymph node near the prostate enlarged suddenly and totally blocked his colon. He was still happy and wagging his tail but you could tell it was starting to be an act. Whenever his people were out of the clinic you could tell he was getting uncomfortable. So I had to be the one to give the "sometimes enough is enough" talk. Major sobbing all around the office. It was time though. I think that even though they had lived with the diagnosis for so long the end came so quickly that they couldn't process it very well.

- My husband is deep in the process of merging his company. He keeps asking me if I'm excited because it means that there will be more money in our future. I'm just not though. He can't understand it. I like the idea of not worrying about how we are going to pay our bills and I like the idea of having more opportunities to travel or do something that we wouldn't have done because of the expense. But, I'm not excited about money for the sake of having money.

Goddess Speak to Me

09.02.04 (1:51 pm)

Goddess Speak to Me

A man whispered "Goddess, speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang but the man did not hear.
So the man yelled "Goddess speak to me!"
And the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said "Goddess let me see you"
And a star shone brightly.
But the man did not notice.
And the man shouted "Goddess show me a miracle"
And a life was born.
But the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair.
"Touch me Goddess and let me know that you are here!"
Whereupon Goddess reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Author Unknown

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