| The pictures |
| 05.31.04 (6:02 pm) |
Ok, I finally got the camera back from the husband and was able to take the flower pictures that I promised last week.
[image]spirit97_106771480 4.jpg[/image] [image]spirit97_281454257 .jpg[/image]
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| Flowers |
| 05.25.04 (2:43 pm) |
There's not much to report about the past few days. The most exciting thing is that the first roses are starting to bloom in my garden. I also have 2 buds on my peony. That is especially good because all last year it only had one flower. That's probably because when I got it it was a root. I had no idea how it went in the ground so I guessed. I probably planted the poor thing upside down. I'm amazed it grew and managed one flower last year. Two peonies is just a bonus.
After a week of fighting with tBlog it finally recognized me as a ProUser so I can post pictures. Unfortunately my husband has my digital camera at work so I can't take any pictures to post. I guess if I wait a few days the flowers will be all the way out and I can post them then.
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| Not a good girl anymore |
| 05.23.04 (12:58 pm) |
I wrote on my 100 Things about Me list that I was a recovering Christian. I was reading a blog from a kid that sounds like she is going through a similiar metamorphasis. It inspired me to write out my spiritual story.
I was raised as a Christian fundamentalist. Not so right wing as to be snake handlers or anything like that but pretty conservative. We went to church everytime the doors were open. I never really questioned anything because that's just the way life was. Most of my friends were the same way so it didn't seem all that strange. Even when I lived on my own I attended a Southern Baptist church. The change for me started when I got out of grad school and moved to a more rural area. I had gone to school in a city and was used to a large active church. That was not an option where I was living. It was pretty depressing because my entire social circle had always been church related.
During this time I met my husband to be who did not take church as seriously as I had. I tried to get him more interested but it didn't work. Gradually his attitude began to wear off on me.
Here's where it got complicated. Those of you who've been in the church will know what I mean. They tell you that if you aren't actively going to church that you will start to doubt. You need the affirmation of the group to keep you from "straying." Ok, I've been out of church for a while and now I'm having these thoughts that maybe everything they taught me wasn't true. So, am I being decieved by Satan or getting far enough away from the propaganda that I can start to think for myself? That seems like a simple answer now but it was confusing at the time. It was like "They told me this would happen. But were they right about why it is happening?"
Here's the things I was thinking about at the time:
1. Homosexuality
Church answer - big no-no. End of discussion
Me- I knew gay people but the thing that really changed my mind was a book. It was the autobiography of an army nurse who was discharged when she came out as a lesbian. It put a more human face on the issue.
2. Joshua 1:8 (I think that's right)
This was a favorite verse of the church I went to in school. It says "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you." They took that to mean that God has a plan for you and it will all be ok.
That's incredibly comforting but if you read the whole chapter you see that God was talking specifically to Israel. He was not talking to Americans in the 20th century. So how can you claim that it applies to you? That put most of the teachings of that church into doubt if they couldn't see something that obvious.
3. Lot
The Bible describes Lot as a righteous man. But there is a story where he offers a mob the opportunity to rape his virgin daughters if they will not engage in homosexual sex. That's not my idea of righteous.
There was more but you get the general idea. So, if I rejected what I was raised to believe what do I believe now? Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess if anything I'd have to say I'm an agnostic. I'm not ready to reject the idea of God out of hand but it seems more like wishful thinking than the truth. Maybe I'll get a list of things I do believe together for another post.
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| Still hurting |
| 05.23.04 (12:18 pm) |
Not much going on today. I'm still laid up with this bad shoulder from the fall off my horse. I figured out what actually happened when I went out to fix the fence. When I saw her heading straight into the fence I prepared for her to try to jump. She hit the brakes (evidenced by the huge divots where she stopped before hitting the fence). I was then launched like a rocket. All the fence damage was from me and not her.
On a good note I stopped by the show I was planning on going to yesterday and found out that it was cancelled. There's been so much rain that they were worried that trailers would get stuck. So they are going to reschedule sometime. That's cool. I was disappointed to miss it.
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| Adoption |
| 05.22.04 (9:40 am) |
I followed a minivan down the road today that had a bumper sticker that said "We want to adopt a baby" and then had a 1-800 number listed. This was a professionaly made sticker. It wasn't something that someone just made at home. Do they honestly expect people to call them up and give them a baby because they advertised on the back on their minivan?
I have always wanted to adopt a child - not a baby. But I've always had issues with people who think of adoption as a last resort if infertility treatments don't work. What do they tell their child - yeah, we couldn't have a child like we wanted to so we got you? Most of my attitude about this probably comes from the fact I can't understand why people go to extremes just because they can't have a kid. What is so important about your genes that you will spend thousands of dollars to try to reproduce them? Wouldn't that money be better spent improving the life of a child that is already alive?
The other thing about adoption that bothers me are agencies that refuse to adopt to non-Christians. Is it really better to keep kids in orphanages rather than letting them be raised by people who don't share your belief system? As a former Christian I totally understand the mindset that people have who would say yes it is better to live your life without a family than to be raised as a non-Christian. I just don't believe it.
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| Layers of Stupidity |
| 05.21.04 (5:46 am) |
I am hurting this morning. I wanted to go to a horse show tomorrow. So yesterday I decided that I need to ride my horse. Let's dissect the layers of stupidity here:
Layer 1 - I've been working a lot this week and when I haven't been working we've had severe thunderstorms. The point of this is that she has been cooped up in her stall. In fact when I went to get her last night she was spinning in circles in her stall. But I decided to ride her anyway.
Layer 2 - I was in a hurry because I had a meeting I had to get to so I cut down her normal warm up period on the ground.
Layer 3 - While she was lunging the new pad that I'm using under the saddle kept sliding and bunching up so I had to fix it.
Layer 4 - I got on her and the saddle felt strange. She was walking funny like something was pinching her. I stopped her and she stood quietly. My brain screamed "Get off and check that pad!!!!" Then the other part of my brain said "She's quiet now. I'm sure its fine. Let's get going."
Layer 5 - So I listened to the other part of my brain and headed out the door. We made it about 10 feet before she had a bucking fit. I stayed on until she ran through the pasture fence. I had the wind totally knocked out of me. I laid there for about 5 minutes before I was totally convinced that I wasn't dead. I landed on the top of my left shoulder. Even then I knew that as bad as it hurt then it was going to be worse in the morning.
I caught the horse and put her away. Then I took a bunch of Advil and crawled into bed. Along the way I convinced myself that I should sell this $%^^*$%^#$ horse and get a mule. Lucky for her I had to go back out and feed last night. Also lucky for her that she's so gorgeous and sweet that I can't stay mad at her. But going to a show tomorrow is definately out.
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| spreading a diet |
| 05.19.04 (6:26 pm) |
So I decided to try to prove to my husband that a diet would be a good thing for him too. I know he has to do it because he wants to do it but I think he's so convinced that it will fail that he won't even start. I'm making all his meals for one week. It's going to be the death of me. Yesterday after I was cooking for hours he was whining because the vegetables were frozen and they were going to take 5 WHOLE MINUTES to microwave.
But he ate all his meals today. He's not home yet so he hasn't had dinner. That's not good since its 10:30 pm. Oh well, at least he had breakfast and lunch.
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| fake food |
| 05.18.04 (3:22 pm) |
I tried these two recipes recently. They are absolutely amazing. Whoever thought them up is either insane or a genius or both.
The first is mock tuna salad. It is made with mashed up chick peas. Then you add a bit of mayo, pickle relish, and mustard. It even smells like tuna salad.
The second one is cottage cheese loaf. This combines cottage cheese, walnuts, onion soup mix, onions, and Special K to make fake meatloaf. Who makes this stuff up? I've never asked myself "I wonder what would happen if I mix cottage cheese and cereal?"
Both recipes are at recipezaar.com
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| diet success |
| 05.18.04 (3:17 pm) |
I've been on a diet (South Beach vegetarian) since the beginning of April. So far I've lost 15 lbs! :D Yesterday I tried on an old wrap skirt that I had. There is no elastic on the waist at all. I was able to button it. The really good thing about this is that it is 2 sizes smaller than where I started! Of course it was too tight to wear in public - but it buttoned! I could only wear it for a few minutes then had to take it off and lie down because I was light headed from not being able to breathe - but it buttoned!
My husband really needs to be on this diet for his health. He has horrible eating habits. I don't cook for him because he has an erratic work schedule and doesn't like healthy food. But I told him that I would cook all his meals for one week if he would eat what I told him when I told him. He reluctantly agreed. We'll see if he follows through. I'm cooking meat right now. It was hard for me to shop for meat based dishes. I don't remember how to buy meat for meals. It's like my brain forgot everything about my former carnivorous life.
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| Gay marriage vs. civil unions |
| 05.17.04 (7:03 am) |
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Today is the day that Massachusetts starts granting marriage licenses to gay couples. What as always confused me about this whole debate is the politicians who try to say that they are against gay marriage but for civil unions. The way they define it makes it totally a semantic difference. There is no difference in the rights given to married couples versus the rights given to couples in civil unions. So why give them different names when they are exactly the same thing??? This is an example of politicians trying to pander to people who are anti-homosexual while still trying to court the homosexual vote. This is an issue that deserves to be discussed intelligently and not reduced to sound bites to try to gain political favor.
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| Credo - Part 2 |
| 05.16.04 (7:30 pm) |
51) My dream car is a gas-electric Prius
52) I picked up my husband on an internet dating site before it was cool.
53) I've always liked the least cool bands.
54) My mom thinks that I form most of my opinions in an effort to be as controversial as possible - not because I really believe them.
55) I think being white is boring because you have no cultural identity.
56) I'm very conservative on financial matters.
57) I believe in an absolute right to privacy
58) I hate seeing new houses being built in previously undeveloped areas
59) I love Morgan horses
60) I think people who sue others frivolously should be jailed or whipped.
61) I think most lawsuits are frivolous.
62) I love grocery shopping
63) I hate vaccuuming.
64) I love taking long hot baths
65) I picked out my house based on the bathtub
66) I think I need to update my wardrobe before someone turns me in to WHAT NOT TO WEAR
67) I'm trying to develop a shoe fetish
68) I hate having pieces of paper lying around the house
69) I like to play volleyball
70) I like dark haired dark eyed men
71) I go to movies by myself during the day about once a week
72) Oscar night is a national holiday in my family
73) My ideal vacation would be staying with a family in a third world country
74) I love scented candles
75) My favorite snacks are cheddar cheese pretzel Combos and cheese popcorn
76) I think most people are either insane or stupid (not you of course!)
77) I'm a super event organizer
78) I hate calling people on the phone
79) I'm really shy
80) I can't imagine getting a face lift but I'd love liposuction
81) I've never done any drugs
82) I've never even been drunk
83) I won a best math student award in high school
84) I hate math
85) Just thinking about crawling through caves makes me claustrophobic
86) I think bats and bugs are interesting
87) I'd never want to be a solider
88) If I had to choose another career I'd study mollusks
89) My favorite swear word is fuck
90) I hate the word "womb"
91) I hate the sound of people chewing or spitting
92) I love it when I'm just falling asleep and my mind starts to free associate
93) I have all kinds of ideas for books
94) I don't think I have the discipline to write a book
95) I think people should have to be licensed to have kids
96) I think that any adult should be able to smack a kid mouthing off to his mother
97) MOBY DICK and GREAT EXPECTATIONS are the worst books ever
98) My favorite flowers are roses
99) I think men make better friends than women
100) I love making lists
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| Credo |
| 05.16.04 (12:46 pm) |
I've never blogged before and I can't imagine that anyone will have any interest in my ramblings but I have a great urge to share whatever comes to my mind. So here it goes....
For introductory purposes I am (in no particular order):
a) a vegetarian
b) recovering Christian
c) quilter
d) a slave to my animals
e) a reforming horse show snob
f) environmentalist
g) politically incorrect feminist...
....Among other things that will come up here eventually.
I've been looking around since I posted this and found lots of lists about 100 things to know about me. So, I'm up to 7. I'm going to have to think hard to get to 100 but here it goes.
8) I'm married.
9) I'm afraid of babies.
10) and small snakes that slither
11) But I like pythons and boas
12) I'd be horrified if anyone I knew read this list
13) But I have no problems with total strangers reading it
14) I want to be a philanthropist when I grow up
15) I want to have enough money to be a philanthropist when I grow up
16) I was born in 1972
17) I've travelled in Central and South America
18) I don't speak Spanish
19) I think gay marriage is a good thing
20) I think that people who consider adoption only as a last resort after infertility treatment shouldn't be allowed to adopt
21) I hate conflict
22) I want to be a witch - not a Wiccan but a witch that can cast spells and ride on a broom
23) I read all the time
24) I like historical fiction
25) And women's history
26) And chick-lit
27) I buy "smart magazines" like Discover to read on planes
28) I started quilting because I couldn't knit
29) I'm left handed
30) My mother-in-law came to visit and hasn't left yet
31) She's lived here for a year
32) I like to travel
33) I'm embarrassed by other Americans when I travel
34) I'd like to go parasailing
35) I don't like any sports where you strap something to your feet - skiing, skating, etc.
36) I sing really loud in my car
37) I won't sing in front of other people
38) I don't like owning "stuff"
39) I love Monty Python
40) I don't watch network TV
41) I pick a series in syndication and watch it obsessively until I've seen all the episodes
42) First I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer
43) Now its The West Wing
44) Spelling and grammar errors make me crazy
45) Both my husband and my dog snore
46) I'm on a diet that's actually working
47) I like yoga
48) I'm still good friends with ex-boyfriends
49) I've given away all but 3 of my quilts
50) I wrote a short story that started out as erotica but I think it turned to straight porn.
Well, there's 50 things about me. That hurt my brain so I'll have to think a while about the next 50.
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